Grief's Unexpected Gifts: Finding Strength In Sorrow

My life wasn’t supposed to look like this. I envisioned earning my Doctorate in Humanities before 30, intertwining my loves for History and English. I dreamed of a career filled with speaking, writing, traveling, and publishing. After that, I pictured my knight in shining armor whisking me away to a beautiful wedding and a modern farmhouse in Texas, with three children raised in an environment designed for their prosperity.

I believed these desires would come true because I gave my life to Christ.

After earning a Bachelor’s Degree in English, I felt led to teach at a private Christian school, and those years were incredibly challenging—to say the least.

I experienced homelessness while navigating my first adult job, serving children who didn’t seem to care about my educational goals.

Then, three months into the pandemic, I found myself walking down the aisle—not in the huge church or white gown I imagined, but in my husband’s parents’ living room, with decorations from Hobby Lobby. It was a beautiful, intimate ceremony over Zoom, but months later, I realized I hadn’t enjoyed planning the wedding or being surrounded by family and friends as I transitioned into marriage.

Amidst the challenges of being a newlywed, I faced even more heartache. My beloved aunt passed away suddenly, and family dynamics shifted painfully.

I watched other women fulfill their dreams while I struggled to find joy. I became a shell of my former self, indifferent to what once excited me, experiencing random crying spells as grief enveloped me.

Grief is a profound emotion, yet many Christians feel it taints their faith, preventing them from healing. However, grief is present throughout the Bible. Jesus experienced deep sorrow, and David, one of the greatest kings, also endured grief in his relationships.

As I reflect on my life in this season, I’ve sat with grief. Like Jesus, I know it well. While I may have nursed it longer than necessary, I’ve discovered unexpected gifts through my grief:

EMPATHY

Empathy is feeling what others experience. Having walked through grief, I can genuinely connect with others’ pain, becoming their support in a way that sympathy alone cannot.

PERSPECTIVE

God becomes what we experience Him as. Grief has illuminated different facets of God for me. I can now declare Him as a healer because I have experienced His healing personally.

GRIT

David faced countless struggles but came out resolved in his faith. Enduring hardships builds a resilience that transforms us.

Despite my grief, I’ve seen God’s hand in my life. He has sustained me, restored broken relationships, and positioned me in a field I wasn’t qualified for, protecting me from premature death.

In moments of brokenness, I encourage you to trust those God has placed in your life to speak truth into you.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” -Matthew 5:16 [KJV]